I undid my first step

This is a good week. Last week was not a good week. I decided to take a few days to process it before I wrote anything. It’s processed. I’m writing. I’ll spare you the details and give you the short version.

Last week my family had some drama. I was displeased because I feel like it’s my job to shield the family and I couldn’t do it. In my dissatisfaction for the situation, I made the decision to undo my first step and take charge. It was plainly obvious to me that what we needed was more of my will forced on everyone in and around the family. I declared war on three people and one of them was my wife.

Things are better with the wife today. I stepped back into my place after I became exhausted by trying to run the world. The second party I declared war on laughed me off and kept moving. The third is probably unaware that I want revenge because I have not been able to confront him yet.

The details will change from person to person but the story is pretty much the same. When we lose track of the fact that we are powerless over everything but ourselves, we cause havoc. The worst part about all of this is that the entire incident would have blown over if I just would have sat back and done nothing.

I think it’s time to work the first step again.


7 thoughts on “I undid my first step

  1. It’s hard to be human.
    Especially when we “know better” but can’t stop ourselves from going down a familiar path. I do the same thing. Often.
    Sigh. Apologizing goes a long way. I hope you have found some peace in letting go.
    I think of it as practice. Maybe next time the sane thinking will prevail sooner. Many people never even realize their foolishness. Self awareness is a gift….
    Stillness and peace

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, thanks. This post was perfectly timed for me. I’ll spare you the details but it proves to me how important it is to connect with others on the program…again thank you S.


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