So I went to this meeting right before memorial day. It was one of those late meetings where they have candles and turn the lights off. The guy that chaired the meeting read from a book that was not the daily reflections. I was already impressed because I hate the daily reflections. The topic was spiritual experiences.
He shared some stuff that sounded reasonable. We talked after the meeting. It was enjoyable. We went out for a late meal. It was enjoyable. Before we said our goodbyes and went back to our homes, he was my sponsor. After a year and a half of living in this town, I felt like I had finally found a decent sponsor.
Then, he calls me a few days later. He says if we’re going to work steps I need to call him every day. I remind him I have four years. He responds that he has not forgotten.
I don’t get it with this town. Why can’t I find a normal sponsor? What is the deal with these people? They either don’t have any interest in working through the steps with me, one of them did say that, or they want to be so up in my life that it puts me off.
He wants to put me on a three meeting per week schedule also. I can’t put it into words, but there is something about that that rubs me the wrong way.
I called an old sponsor to ask him if I was being unreasonable by not wanting to call him everyday. He told me I was not. I asked him what I was supposed to do about this. Then, he said something I had not considered. He advised me to be patient. I hadn’t considered it because it’s not one of my skills. In fact, I’ve actively avoided developing patience over the years. I prefer to develop reasons why I’m justified in demanding that things move faster.
I took stock of my life tonight when I came home from work. I currently have everything I asked for when I went to AA. AA also gave me a lot of other things that I didn’t ask for. In the last two years, I’ve been given things I didn’t know I could have and some that I didn’t believe I was worthy of.
Maybe it is time to just sit down and be patient for a while. Thanks for reading, if there is anyone that bothers to read a blog that posts once a month or less. Maybe I have a patient audience.