I got a sponsor, again

So I went to this meeting right before memorial day. It was one of those late meetings where they have candles and turn the lights off. The guy that chaired the meeting read from a book that was not the daily reflections. I was already impressed because I hate the daily reflections. The topic was spiritual experiences.

He shared some stuff that sounded reasonable. We talked after the meeting. It was enjoyable. We went out for a late meal. It was enjoyable. Before we said our goodbyes and went back to our homes, he was my sponsor. After a year and a half of living in this town, I felt like I had finally found a decent sponsor.

Then, he calls me a few days later. He says if we’re going to work steps I need to call him every day. I remind him I have four years. He responds that he has not forgotten.

I don’t get it with this town. Why can’t I find a normal sponsor? What is the deal with these people? They either don’t have any interest in working through the steps with me, one of them did say that, or they want to be so up in my life that it puts me off.

He wants to put me on a three meeting per week schedule also. I can’t put it into words, but there is something about that that rubs me the wrong way.

I called an old sponsor to ask him if I was being unreasonable by not wanting to call him everyday. He told me I was not. I asked him what I was supposed to do about this. Then, he said something I had not considered. He advised me to be patient. I hadn’t considered it because it’s not one of my skills. In fact, I’ve actively avoided developing patience over the years. I prefer to develop reasons why I’m justified in demanding that things move faster.

I took stock of my life tonight when I came home from work. I currently have everything I asked for when I went to AA. AA also gave me a lot of other things that I didn’t ask for. In the last two years, I’ve been given things I didn’t know I could have and some that I didn’t believe I was worthy of.

Maybe it is time to just sit down and be patient for a while. Thanks for reading, if there is anyone that bothers to read a blog that posts once a month or less. Maybe I have a patient audience.

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9 thoughts on “I got a sponsor, again

  1. Have you considered getting a sponsee instead and working the steps with them?
    I don’t always understand the hard line AA stance. While acceptance, honesty and personal responsibility are all vital for recovery, being put in ones place isn’t.
    If it makes you uncomfortable it doesn’t mean it’s right.
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Getting a sponsor is helpful for growth, not necessarily correction.

      Also, I would love to sponsor someone. I will, when someone wants to work the steps. Let’s face it. There really aren’t that many people that work the program.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Lamar, from what you’ve said I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. These people sound a controlling and overbearing … I wonder if they genuinely have your interests at heart, or perhaps their own, or perhaps they simply aren’t the right people to be in sponsor roles. Who knows. Whatever their reason, the you need to be comfortable. I’ve not done the sponsor thing or AA. But it sounds similar to mentoring relationships, whereby it’s got to be a two-way fit and alignment. Otherwise one or both parties don’t engage honestly or openly; the whole thing can end up going nowhere fast.
    You’ll find your person in time. It’s great you have such clarity about what you are seeking. All the best 🙂

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      1. My pleasure. Hmmm great question. I decided on 01/01/17 when I woke up (hungover, of course!) that I was over it. Over drinking, over the drama, over the emotional damage to myself and loved ones. So I googled some books (Annie Grace This Naked Mind) and listen to some podcasts like Erin Geraghty’s Thriving After Addiction. Support from my partner (he’s not a drinker so that helped heaps). And a couple of good friends. And started writing this little blog. Sorry for the long answer. But I recognise and respect that everyone has their own approach. Yours seems to be working very well for you. I hope to go as far as you have 🙂

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  3. LW—“And acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today…” As as alcoholic, I instantly rebel at the initial suggestions of others and then I let things settle. I would not want to have to call someone every day, either, and I don’t think that the amount of weekly meetings supersedes the quality of a person’s sobriety. All of that being said, what the hell do I know? I am only a recovering drunk! Keep on keepin on! XO DWD

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